under my fingers
under my toes
im nobody's friend
im nobody's foe.

woah..jo can really do it til its so freaky..hahas..good job girl..
sigh of relief.
it's finally over..i have the burden off me..but..hai..
i sing so well..im happy god used me n many ppl were touched.
praise god!!
but..i dono..i wished i had prayed harder for my frens..i wished i had prayed more n longer n more fervently..that they will come to noe god..but..
they said they weren ready..that they wanted to wait..and i was just so eager..just had this sense of urgency in my heart..i wanted them to receive now..what if they died tmr? what if somethjing happend to them..then if they din noe god i would haf felt so guilty that i din do my part..and..
-shrugs-
but i guess mom and gerald are right.i cant rush things.i cant do this on my own..i must wait for god's timing..maybe i was only the sower..but im glad i haf been used by god.

thank you jesus for bringin me through evrything..for taking away my fear.my nervousness
thank you for being there when i cried those tears of frustration..for never being tired of my complains and whining..for always being there to comfort me when i felt like...so horrible.
for giving me the patience with myself..for giving me my confidence. in you..really:
there's nothing my god cannot do!
-smiles
im happy. im happy god has used me so greatly.i feel like just saying he has used me over and over again..haha..it feels great to be used by him..ahhhH!! my insides are beaming and shining and gleaming and smiling with joy!! hahahas..
woohoo.
i feel like geeting up and jumping arn the whole hse praising god! ahh..hahas.
and i will cont to pray for all of my frens.my oikos..i will be an ardent angel!! pray on and on and on and on for their salvation. god must gimme the perseverence to pray and pray and pray..=]
it really feels so great to be used by him..and especially when i had such a hard trying time during that.he brought me through and i thank him!!! ahh..hahas.

9:03 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

finallt the tests are over.
feel so drained n exhausted n haiya.
my emotions r so on the run.
i hate it.
and i just got nth to say.
its like so..uh. forget it la.
im just glad i always haf god to tok to when no one else seems to be arn.
wanted to tok to you.im glad i didn.

and my throat is hurting.
feel like just...
and only god understands.
where's my confidence?
where's my wall? the strong one.
im just breaking down so easily.
and i hate it.
i hate it.
i really do.

i love my family.

*kiss away my tearrs

4:47 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

my god is BIG so strong so mighty
my god's plan for me
goes beyond my wildest dream
my god is good
he's so good to me

yeah~so good to me.
yeah~

he's my god and he is my refuge
he's the rock on which i stand
he's my fortress and god he is my life
he holds the oceans in his hands

there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do

"if only" . . .
"if only" you were here...my brother would not have died
"if only" you were here...he wouldn't have fallen sick
"if only . . .
-martha


"even if" . . .
"even if" you were not here...you still can heal him now
"even if" you were not here...you still can raise him from the dead now
"even if . . .
-mary

there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do


to come before your throne of grace
to wait in your presence
to kneel at the feet of one who died for me
to weep before the king of kings
to cry out my hurts and pain before you
to scream into nothingness
to be bare and strip myself naked
to take off the grave clothes around me
to savour every moment of your holiness
to rest in your embrace
to fall into the loving arms of my god
to lie broken and weak
to feel unashamed and unafraid
to be oblivious to the world around me
to stand in awe of your grace and mercy

who else could it be
who else could it be

it could only be you lord jesus
it could only be you

there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
there's nothing my god cannot do
cannot do

8:07 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i hear them cheering
reasonance of their voices
conscience of self
it is what that causes this
the tremor in my voice
the restriction of my emotions

break away
break free from the image
the image that the world sees
break free from the self that swallows the soul

can i sing for the audience of ONE
can i sing for the pleasure of ONE
can i sing because i love you?

be it the world crashes around me
be it my whole being is consumed by the dark
be it the sky falls and
my life go past before my very eyes
like a wheel of thread
unraveling itself

i will sing for the audience of ONE
i will sing for the pleasure of ONE
i will sing because i love you
because i love you.


break that sucker.
control ur nervousness.
i feel so ashamed and horrible.
why di get soo nervous on stage.
i believe i can do better
much much better..
but i need to break this feeling.
am i so faithless?
dat god cant help me.
i noe he can.
im just trying n trying..
but each time i hear the tremor in my voice..
i feel so disappointed.
n my voice..haiya.
or mayb im just pathetic whining thing.
-screams-

and mum dad went for check-up
and someting happen to mum.her old problem came back.
and i just feelll so. mmm. i dono.
hai.

*jesus it hurts me.

10:13 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

now my parents are arguing n fighting.

11:34 AM

studying sucks.
amaths sucks.
chinese sucks.
and i tell you wad sucks.
when u are in a glass box where u can hear everyone speak but cant talk to them.

sometimes i get so weird
i even freak myself out
i laugh myself to sleep
its my lullaby

but i know god loves mee and i wun wallow in self pity.
because his death has already proved his love is all i ever need.

its just..
sigh.
sometimes..
ppl come to u with their probs..
and i gladly help them..i love to help them..
wanna make them feel happy let them know god cares n loves them..
and they are ok n happy after that..
then..
i just wanna..
n i get shut..
maybe its just me..
im too..normal?
too..common?
dun give a damn about.
mayb im pmsing.
dun give a damn about la.

and i had a nightmare last night.
so happy we won amazing race..first.den i was so tired.muscles aching n my headache was killing me the whole race.n dad din want to send me hm coz he just woke up n dowan to dirty his car.
i culdn force him so i toook a bus home..den i slept on the bus n ended up at tm interchange. stupid.dis guy woke me up..i was so embarrassed.went home.bathe super long n slept the whole day.din eat dinner.

mum doesn want me to go out.only for cell.n she says i spend enuf time with them yest.wad crap.n i got gd friday stuf e whole week.
wad m i supp to do?
please the whole world?

and i cant deny the fact my maths sucks.

it was for freedom, that christ has set us free
no longer to be subject, to the yoke of slavery.

when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
father you are king over the flood
and i will be still
and know you are god

11:13 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

wa lao! wa dthe heck. i just changed the page accidently n everyting got wiped clean.
stupid!

anw.im back.
com hd been down with virus.trojan.spyware all the stupid nonsense.y are ppl so free?
anw thank you bryan! hte helped me clear everyting.had to reboot the whole com.stupid.fortunately i could save evryting.but still cant go online cos my singnet ting password wrong.cant sign in at all.so irritating.hafta call singtel.but no time n i cant be bothered.

will you take my hand and lead me home
will you take my world and hold it in your hands
will you take my heart and make it yours
change my heart to seek after yours

hai.the past week has been sucky.
got back chi o's.B3.passed.thank god i did.and was quite happy.den the school encouraged us to drop hcl.
why? cause they tink we might not pass hcl in o's. and pz was sayin that we must work hard.even though we get good results for chi o's doesn mean we can slack.and balr blar blar..
-frustrated-
i mean.what the heck? i studied like crazy.and i have done my best.i was so confident i will pass hcl o's n they just wrecked my confidence? ya..mayb they are just saying n advising but must they say it in that way? it puts me down n i cant help feeling so stressed. den last yr's batch did super well.principal was sayin dat we r expected to do better too. dat adds on to the burden.and den my parents downa me to get involved in anyting after good friday.now the school has remedials on wed 2+ to 3/4+.friday fm 2-5 all on chinese! CHINESE!!! walao!

your ways are higher than mine

sigh. announcement on the remedial tingy n pz almost made me cry.ive tried so hard.and instead of encouragement i get dragged down.

if you put your arms around me
could it change the way i feel

mayb its god teaching me a lesson..of i dono..but im starting to hate chinese n pz.i noe i cant do that.it wun do me good. -shrugs-
and ive got stuff on my heart.i shall not say. only god has the key to my heart. and only he can lft my burdens. take away the pain and emotions and stress.

a new week has come.

take my heart and make it yours
lead me in the way everlasting

8:07 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

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all the brothers and sisters

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of old.

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credits.

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wonderful people

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